autism in the mainstream

"Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a group of developmental disabilities that can cause significant social, communication and behavioral challenges."

Hhmmm... disabilities.... maybe its better to hear that these special ones have just limited abilities :)  

To help my child deal with his environment, we continued with his therapies... The Occupational Therapy (OT) which helped him improve his skills and sensory integration and the Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) which helped him manage his behavior and serves as a bridge to his language therapy. 

For almost a year, my kid was crying like hell inside the therapy center. Every session for 1 long hour...  I was torn into pieces everytime I look at him begging to go home but I have to be strong for him. Need to ignore him. On my mind, he was forced to do things he doesnt like. He was compelled to say things he cannot utter. He was frustrated and I was devastated... 

Since we cannot understand what he wants, the therapist suggested to start with sign language. I was hesitant at first because I said my kid is not deaf or mute to do such a thing but we have to do something so that he can communicate with us... then, sign language was gradually removed... After several weeks, amazingly, he was able to talk simple words like 'eat', 'drink', 'help' and 'please'.... It wasn't easy for him but it was a great achievement for us. Then followed by words like mommy and daddy - this is really an OMG! it was music to our ears... The words I've been longing to hear.... again  :) missed it for almost a year :( So excited to see his improvement,  I prepared a visual booklet for him. I didn't buy the usual flash cards but what I did is to cut out different objects, animals, parts of the body that he can see and encounter everyday. I made a personalized one for him :) He, too, was excited. I saw it in his eyes and smile. 

We thought that the therapy was not helping him because it was almost a year that we didn't see any changes. But when he turned 3 1/2 years old, we were all surprised with his development. He was able to communicate with us. Though, echolalia was still present (repeating words as how it is said) his skills were at the right pace. He cooperated with the activities. Completed the tasks needed to do as easy as 1-2-3... I know he can catch up... 

With so much excitement, I looked for a school that accepts special kids. A school that is not focused on the special ones but instead, a school that will treat him like any other regular student. He was mainstreamed with a shadow teacher in kinder class at Another Home to Grow School. I tried shadowing him too for 2weeks for me to know how to handle him and how he reacts in school. It was a new environment for him and he can't adjust in just a snap. He was not that successful in his 1st year of school :( Our DevPed suggested that we enroll him in a playschool first when summer comes... then come school year-take the first step first - enroll him in the nursery level. I didnt actually agree with her enrolling my son in nursery level because he was already 5years old that time but our doctor said that we should not rush the kid. He needed space and time and an environment with no pressure. She said not to mind the age. Its ok to be late. I was worried then because my fourth child will enter school too at the nursery level. But I followed doctor's advice... 

I enrolled my son in playschool with only 6 classmates and a shadow teacher. He was doing great with the activities but he dont socialize with his classmates. At least, his attention was present. That was a good improvement. His nursery school too was also a success. We didn't worry about the academics. He was able to participate well and answered the questions in their assessment fast. His teachers and therapists would only comment on his behavior. Running around, loves playing with toys every now and then, he wants to be the first one to wash hands and always whine... But as days passed by, he started to play with his classmates. Their moving-up activity (a sort of graduation for the pre-schoolers) made me so proud. He was so behave and cooperative. 

We thought everything will flow smoothly as he level-up. He entered junior kinder this year still with a shadow teacher. His grades in academics were excellent. He can now name some of his classmates and befriend them. A good start for improving his social behavior. But there are some behavior that now exist and we are not armed as how to respond to these changes. He is a little manipulative. He screams a lot at the top of his voice everytime he is frustrated. Frustrated in a sense that, he can't have and do what he wants. He gets attention through screaming. He even started to hit and pinch the people who stops him to do what he wants. Oh my... we don't know what to do then. 

To address these concerns, the teachers requested a meeting with the therapist. We discussed about my son's behavior and how to deal with it. 

Prevention is the key. If we cant prevent it, we should have strategies. 

Since my kid is a visual person, I should make some rules using pictures. Like for example, a picture showing that if he will eat rice, he will have cookies in school. If he will continue to scream in school, he cant play his ipad. The therapist said that having these visual rules and regulations will help him realize that there are things that he need to watch out for. There might be a consequence or a reward if he will follow rules imposed on him. We dont need to repeat it to him all over again because he will remember the rules. Though I haven't tried it on him yet because I need to complete it first before printing. I will share his reaction, response and how is he doing after I am done with the visuals. I will share what I've done in my next writing! Catch you there!

get ready for a new beginning!

I didn't know yet... I thought toddlers are all the same. Hyper, restless, "i-don't-care- as- long-as-i will-do- what- i- want" attitude. I saw plenty scenarios like that in the mall. Kids that are like mini monsters growling & crying for lollipops, toys and french fries and those dying to go to the playground.  But there was one kid that captured me. An angelic-looking, jolly & always-running toddler. I thought he was just very happy that he cannot even hear he is being called. But the anguish yaya commented to herself "ang hirap tlaga magalaga ng autistic na bata" (it is difficult indeed to take care of an autistic child.) 

I didn't care about autism before. All i know is one should have more patience to understand the child who has it because they have different thinking, different reasoning & different life... 

Not until i have my own. Kharll Anthony. 3rd among the siblings. 

I was on my 3rd unexpected pregnancy... followed doctor's advise religiously. Performed all the necessary tests and ultrasounds to make sure that i'm ok and our baby. It was my 3rd CS operation and mind you, i give birth in CS-way yearly so I really need to be monitored by my OB. That would mean, all the needed care was applied :) 

Then came the big day again for us. God gave us a healthy baby boy. We are all excited  especially his ate and kuya who were waiting for 9 months :) 

Our 1st 2 kids are very smart. They are like sponge absorbing what they see and hear... so I focused too on Kharll's development cause I want him to excel too. I want him to be as smart as his 2 siblings... Everyday, everyhour when he is awake, I always talk to him... introduce new kids' songs for him, bought "intellectual" toys to stimulate his senses. We were doing good... better. 

Everybody witnessed his development. I told myself, "I was right... he, too, will excel". He sang songs he just heard from me with actions... he was able to mumble early. He was able to walk a week earlier than his ate and kuya. 

One dreadful night, because of his careless yaya, my kid touched the boiling kettle. Kharll was 15months that time. We rushed him to the hospital with a second degree burn on his right hand. He was crying so hard. He will sleep crying and wake up crying. I could feel his pain. 

Few days after the incident, he became quiet. Less talk, less play. I thought he was just not feeling well or traumatized because of what happened. We ignored the changes. Days passed by, we felt that something was not right. We tried calling him by his name but he never looked as if he didn't hear anything. He then played with his toys alone. His favorite was toy blocks... and he started to line-up the blocks... 

I started to research on the net about his behaviour.  Found similar situations and acts like how I observed my son. Doing the linear thing. Playing Alone. No words coming from his mouth except for "AAH", flapping his hands when he is excited, giggling alone... his development regressed. He couldn't sing the songs he used to sing. He can't utter the words mommy and daddy anymore... I was disheartened. My world shut down.

At first, I was on denial that my kid might be special. I told myself that maybe it was just because of the accident. I tried very hard to bring back what was before but I didn't succeed. As I continue to research on my son's case... one thing trigerred me to seek professional help... "EARLY INTERVENTION"... it might bring my son back to normal. I was full of hope that maybe, there is just something that needs to be straigthened out. I don't know. Just maybe... 

My son was 1 year and 8mos when I started to look for a Development Pediatrician. Asked for recommendations from friends and relatives.. When I found one, the doctor has questions I can't answer because Kharll was too young that time and questions were not applicable for such a young age to diagnose his case. He suggested to wait until he turned two then come back to him again... When we are scheduled to have a check-up, I was praying and hoping that he will say, "there's nothing wrong with your kid".... Inside the clinic, he behaved like other normal toddlers. In a span of 2 hours of observation and interviewing my child, the doctor cannot give his clear diagnosis yet. He advised us to take some hearing tests, occupational therapy and comeback to him after 3months to see any improvements. After 3months, still, no diagnosis.

We visited the therapy center. The therapist who assessed my child said, he needs Occupational Therapy and the Applied Behavioral Analysis. So we pushed with these therapies with the go signal of the DevPed. 

In the process of my kid's therapy, I've looked for another DevPed. Thinking and hoping that he will not be categorized as a special child. But after her thorough observation, the doctor diagnosed that Kharll has an  Autism Spectrum Disorder. I cried in front of the doctor. I lost hope. I asked myself, why me? what did i do wrong? was it the accident that triggered his disorder? is it genetically acquired? what happened to him? what will happen to him? why? what? how will he survive? why him? .... 

Weeks had passed before I came to realize that these questions need not be answered.  It would't help me and Kharll to "grow"...  I have to accept the fact that my son has special needs that he needs support and understanding. It is really the first step that parents need to do -ACCEPTANCE. We provided what he basically needs. Love, understanding, patience. Lots of it!  Not only from us but from all the people around him. With these, he is starting to recognize that he is not alone in this world. That he has a purpose in life. 

 and this is where our journey started... :)